suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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