You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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