Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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