...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
