I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
