Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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