"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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