If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im holly from the hills drunk
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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