so that wasnt chicken after all
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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