yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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