just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
