Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
