Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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