Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
