dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
