She said her name was "party"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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