youre lurking in front of me
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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