she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
