Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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