People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
