Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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