im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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