So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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