She is in my trunk
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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