That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
