idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
time to smoke my breakfast
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
