don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Floor bacon is actually really good
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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