i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
