He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
