i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
