She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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