good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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