You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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