Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize