We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
