if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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