Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
