Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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