i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
