I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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