what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize