Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Randomize
