wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
