i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
