He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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