So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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