I haven't been this sober since birth.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
