i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
