I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
