i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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