Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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