I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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