I skipped work to stalk him.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
