Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
