but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize