Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
