you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
