I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
