Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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