I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
