ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
