I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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