Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
