I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Your dad touched me again.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
