my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
