Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
