i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
