So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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