Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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