like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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