Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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