you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
