I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
whose ass print is on the piano?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize