I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
