I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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