Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
