i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize
