I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My vagina is very pro this idea
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
